When you get those moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense and you try despertely to hold on to them... They are the life-boats for the darker times when the vascenence of it all,the incomprehensivel nature of life is completely lucive... So the question become or should it be all along: What would you do if you knew you had one day, one week, or one month to live?
What life-boat would you grab on to?
Which secret would you tell?
What band would you see?
What person would you declare your love to?
What wish would you fulfill? What exotic local would you fly to for coffee? What book would wright?
I'm so lost...I really don't know what to do, I really don't.I don't know what is wrong with me. Why good things don't come to me?? Why I don't deserve to be smilling crazy.. woke up in the morning with a big smile on my face??? Why?? Can someone tell me why??? Why I keep fighting for someone's care and atention even when he's not there, he's not worth it?? Even when he just don't notest me, don't care about my feellings, about me???Why everything has to be so complicated to me?I just can't react to this, I can't fight against.... Instead of that I just seek for something in someone I just met in a shalow way Hopping he maybe, can make me forget him.... How pathetic I am....But I guess even him, that came so smoothley and so toughtfull... just don't want be near by... Maybe I'm not meant to be loved, maybe I just don't deserve it... I just look to the people around me.. they look so well, so fullfield, with so many things in their lives... They all have someone who will be there to whatever they need... And I'm stuck, I didn't achive nothing.. everything remains the same... I don't mean to be geolous.. I just wish I could have someone, who takes care of me, to be near by when I'm bad and scared... Someone to tell me that this is just a bad dream, that soon will be over... someone to hold me tight and to say that everything is going to be ok..... God I needed that so much, but so much... Feels like I'm choking in this world.. feels like everyone around me is moving in a speed light form and I'm moving in a slow motion I just can't keep up with them...I'm just loosing my strengths to fight againts all this thoughts inside my head..I need someone to save me.. To save me from this emptyness that my life become... I need someone to tell it's going to ok... Can someone save me???
Não sei quem sou nem o que sou, pois o que pensava que era não é o que sou. Estou a desintoxicar-me do que era para ser o que sou. Não compreendo ainda quem sou, mas estou a procura de mim" (Augusto Cury)
O meu mundo de sonhos ....